So here's something brief and pithy about how my life is and what my plans are.
Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, I'm going to stop focusing all my mental energy on a future that is too long in arriving. As many of you know, I'm planning to serve a two-year full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints; I've been intending to do this for several years now. I've been putting my life on hold for two years, in order to avoid starting a project that would be hard to stop when everything was finally ready and I was able to go.
Well, medical things have taken seriously longer than I expected, and the earliest I'll be able to go is looking like July at the moment... and in all truth, August or even September are probably more realistic timeframes.
For these past two years, I've suffered occasional bouts of depression, which I believe are due to the fact that I have huge dreams, and every day they seem to recede farther and farther away from me. My mission keeps getting pushed back, and until it's out of the way I can't continue most of my goals. For example, because I'm going to major in Music in college, and that's a degree that requires a lot of constant dedication and practice, I can't pause it in the middle, leave for two years, and then come back and pick up where I left off. I would have to start over from scratch.
However, many of my other goals aren't like that. While it would be inconvenient and complicated to stop them in the middle to leave, they'll still be here for me when I get back. And so here's what I'm going to do:
I will live my life in the present moment, while simultaneously preparing for my mission. I will stop focusing on a distant future, and instead enjoy the life I'm living right now, and will no longer put it off indefinitely.
That's all there is to it – and it's the ultimate solution to my personal issues. Any escapism, depression, or lack of self-esteem I've had will no longer be hurdles to me, because I'll continue with goals in mind, while not stopping from working towards them, no matter what comes in between now and their realization.
I'm committed to living my life the best I can. Here's for the next four months! Vos niin kos pruzaan alun.